Aftermath: Logistics (Grieving Futures)
It is easy to just do something when a person dies, because there is certainly enough to do…
Reflection: Myths & Histories (Grieving Futures)
That is my Troy. My childhood is nothing but transitory pieces of brittle paper and tape that, when gone, will leave no trace of us, of my family.
Circumstances (Grieving Futures)
I often relive moments of destruction. I cannot call them moments of fear or sadness or even grief, which, as words, fail to convey the feeling of being emotionally shattered. Destruction, on the other hand, is perfect. It beats you down for no reason and makes your heart thump wildly and painfully while you try to breathe.
Introduction, 2010 (Grieving Futures)
I am slowly posting the entirety of Grieving Futures: Surviving the Deaths of My Parents, here on Patience & Fortitude for free. You can still buy the book if you would like (doing so helps support my writing!). I am doing this to make it as available as possible...
Preface to the Original Edition (2010)
This book was fifteen years in the making, even if in the end it took several months of intense writing and editing and reliving the past to make it happen.
Under the Desk
I don't remember much about the time I spent living under my father’s desk. I have snatches of memory, here and there: crawling under it; getting out from under it to feed the dogs and myself; deciding that taking a pillow under there with me was allowed (giving...
Grieving Futures: Preface to the Third Edition (2017)
I am slowly posting the entirety of Grieving Futures: Surviving the Deaths of My Parents, here on Patience & Fortitude for free.
The Forgetting
How am I supposed to feel about not recognizing my mother's name? I don't know. It was so shocking to hear it that I originally thought, Somebody has my last name? Hmm, that name is familiar…is there another York family in this congregation? Then I progressed on...
Further along in my Grieving Futures
Why I'm going to be sharing my old grief memoir here, after all these years... Wayyyy back in 1998 or so, within a couple of years of my father’s death, I came up with the book title Grieving Futures. That was it. That was all I had, the title. To be fair, that is...
A Day of Multiple Infamies!
Welcome to August 15th. The vibe is a downer and will stay that way. August 15th, 1943, was the day my mother was born. Had she lived, today would be her 80th birthday. By devious and unplanned irony, August 15th is also my birthday (1969, to be exact). It feels...
The Interlocking of Secrecy and Grief
I have been listening to the excellent podcast Family Secrets, hosted by Dani Schapiro, and so many of the episodes surprisingly kick up memories for me. I say "surprisingly" because despite the fact that I admit freely that I was the secret keeper in my family (by...
Tragedy changes us; Patience tempers us; Fortitude keeps us going.
Lessons in grief, crisis, and recovery from 30 years of life as an adult orphan from a GenX woman who has resentfully struggled every step of the way.