If you spend any time online in the “death circle” of funeral directors and grief/mourning specialists, you have seen the story of Martin Manley, a sports writer in Kansas who committed suicide on August 15th.
Suicides, sadly, are not very unusual items to report on. The difference here is that Manley left a “death manifesto” online, a complete website dedicated to explaining the how and why of his self-termination. It is intense reading, and not something I suggest for anyone who finds the idea of suicide personally upsetting — in the jargon, the site is “triggery”, and that’s stating it mildly. I did not even repost it on my Facebook page for fear of upsetting several close friends who have dealt with the suicides of loved ones. It’s just that painful.
On the other hand, it is a fantastic, articulate look into the mindset of someone who committed suicide as a way to avoid old age and infirmity, written by a professional writer who put a lot of time and energy into the project.
But such things are taboo in our society. Yahoo has already taken the site down. The link I gave above is actually a mirror site that Manley set up, clearly expecting Yahoo to take some action.
It is not a surprise to anyone reading this blog that our culture shies away from any honest, much less brutal, discussion of death. There is some underlying belief that talking about death openly is some way reduces the tragedy of it or disrespects the dead.
It is a belief that works such as C.S. Lewis’ classic A Grief Observed completely dispels, and honestly Manley’s website does so as well. Reading it changed my perception of his death from “another senseless tragedy” to “heart breaking insight into tragedy.”
While I understand Manley’s very logical motivations — childless and single, he was clearly terrified of the specter of old age and infirmity, and dreaded the costs (financial and emotional) his aging would have on his friends, family, and society at large — I think his decision was short sighted. But it was also his decision, not mine, to make, and reading about what he went through prior to final act really touched me in a way that the simple phrase “he committed suicide” does not.
Manley’s web site is important, and I regret the choice Yahoo made in censoring it. People need to read Manley’s thoughts about what he was planning to do, we need to talk about the issues of old age and sickness and the high costs of care-taking for the elderly as well as a person’s right to self-terminate. Manley’s site is a perfect launching pad for this discussion, even if it also represents his death.
