A few weeks ago I posted about the idea of “a safe place to break”, where you sometimes don’t actually deal with a traumatic life experience until much later when you have arrived at a place or time that is safe. That idea originated with a fellow New College alum and good friend, Arlynda Boyer. We’ve both been through some pretty traumatic events, so often we talk about these kinds of issues the way other people discuss sports teams. 🙂

Anyway, today’s rec is a blog post written by Arlynda last year. It is a very thoughtful, penetrating and intense examination of what it means to “give up” versus “go on.” The title of the post, Thinking About Suicide, gives you a hint of the subject matter, so if you find discussion of suicide in any way triggering, you might want to proceed with caution.

But I hope everyone reads this essay. Arlynda, who is one of the many people who have had to deal with the suicide of a loved one, does not flinch from exploring the despair and hopelessness that anyone contemplating suicide must go through. Her analysis, though, is incredibly hopeful and encouraging, without being dismissive of the truly horrific turmoil such people experience.

Her own conclusions, based on her practice of Buddhism, mirrors a concept I discuss in Grieving Futures: that when everything seems done and over, it is actually a sign that you are at a new beginning. The way she matches this to depression, despair and hopelessness is truly insightful; Thinking About Suicide is a beautiful, thoughtful piece of writing that deserves to be read.

Postscript: Arlynda has also written a great book, inspired by both Buddhism and her proud, Southern heritage! Check out Buddha on the Backstretch: The Spiritual Wisdom of Driving 200MPH (link goes to Amazon; the book is also available for Kindle)

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