NPR recently posted a lovely audio clip of commentator Aaron Freeman titled “Planning Ahead Can Make a Difference in the End” (audio and transcript link). It worth a listen/read on its own, so take a moment (it’s short) and give NPR some love.
In summary, Aaron Freeman waxes very poetically about the benefits of having a physicist speak at your funeral to explain the concepts of energy and eternity to people who are grieving. It’s just beautiful.
When I heard this piece it was the proverbial “AH HA” moment for me. As an atheist, I am surprisingly not opposed to funerals. As is often said, they are for the living: to remember, celebrate, and honor the memory of the deceased. Funerals don’t do much for the dead, and the living often have huge emotional and psychological needs that are well served by funerals.
However, our culture–our whole heritage–is religious. There is no historical tradition of a non-religious funeral, even if there have actually been some non-religious funerals that happened occasionally. I mean that as a social institution, it does not exist as a “thing” that can be called upon to serve the needs of non-religious, non-deist mourners. As with modern, non-religious marriages, people tend to make it up as they go along, maybe incorporating bits and pieces of funeral traditions from around the world in an attempt to create a funeral that means something personally and culturally to the mourners present.
Aaron Freeman, however, has solved our problem with an elegant and very beautiful solution: invite a scientist to speak at the funeral. His example was a physicist, and I think that’s a great choice, but I think a biochemist or an oceanographer would do just as well. (It should be someone with an engaging speaking style of course.)
It can be seen as an act of defiance against religious traditions, but personally I see it more as a way to create a new, secular and non-deist tradition that honors the deceased without making a mockery of their non-religious/non-deist beliefs.
This should be our tradition: science, speaking to our needs and emotions at a personal level in a way that supports our worldview while still ‘ministering’ to our grief.
What a beautiful world.
